Silent Lucidity
by Scott Timms
Summary: Xander has been forgotten by his former friends. But he isn't the only one.


  
Title: Silent Lucidity  
(NOTE: I couldn't think of a title so I picked a random title of a song on the radio)  
Disclaimer: I own nothing  
Summary: It's romantic (at least I hope so) I actually like this story a lot X/Amy  
Distribution: It'd be cool if someone liked to archive my work. I'm only on lists at the moment  
Feedback: Please, really appreciated!  
  
Xander fidgeted nervously outside of Buffy and Willow's dorm room. He was kind of worried. Over the last well, really the last year he'd noticed that his friendship with Buffy and Willow was becoming strained. He'd thought it had something to do with Anya and the whole, she's a demon thing. But now she had been gone for a good week and a half and still they hadn't even come around to comfort him.  
  
He missed that.  
  
So it was time to take the initiative, hopefully they'd get back to their original closeness.  
  
He knocked and Buffy's voice drifted through the door "Just a minute"   
  
He heard some clunking around then the door started to swing open "Riley you're . . Xander?"   
  
Xander gave a goofy smile "I sure hope not, G I Joe looks bad on me, it clashes with my matching assault rifle."  
  
Buffy frowned at the barb to her boyfriend "What do you want Xander?"  
  
Xander feigned hurt "Do I have to want something to spend time with my two best bud's" He took his hand out from behind his back and gave her a puppy dog look "I come bearing chocolates"  
  
She grinned snatching the chocolate's from his hand "That changes everything, come on in"  
  
Xander followed her in before stopping and eyeing her appreciatively "Looking good there Buff, big date?"  
  
"Down Harris, and if you must know yes, Riley's parents are in town I'm going to meet them"  
  
"Ooh Mr. and Mrs. hick. Better be careful there Buff country life is like a cult. They suck you in. You only think you're only going to meet his parents. Next thing you know you'll be living in Utah, with ten kid's while being the love bitch of Uncle Mort"  
  
Buffy raised an eyebrow "Uncle Mort"  
  
Xander nodded vigorously "Aha, be careful or you could find lecherous old uncle Mort bending you over the tractor going at it like a piston" Xander paused for a second "You know that even sounds sick to me"  
  
Buffy nodded in total agreement "Next time feel free not to share"  
  
She looked over to Willow who was lying on her bed with her head buried in a massive textbook "Willow" then louder "Willow!" giving up on gaining her attention that way she picked up a pillow and threw it striking Willow soundly on the back of her head.  
  
Willow's head immediately popped up in confusion "What, where . . . "  
  
Buffy rolled her eyes "You forgot who Wills, Xanders here"  
  
Willow's brow furrowed in concentration "What?, Xander? Here?" then she looked up in realization "Oh Xander's here, I get it."  
  
Buffy commented aside to Xander "Don't worry she's been like that all week, some big assignment, it's like she's in her own make believe Willowy world"  
  
Just then a knock came at the door "That'll be Riley" Buffy squealed happily. She grabbed her purse and was out the door in record time her voice coming back "Don't wait up"  
  
"So" Xander stated still looking at the door where Buffy had disappeared "She's meeting the BFG's parents tonight huh"  
  
Willow frowned sitting up on her bed "BFG?"  
  
"Oh I read it in a book somewhere, Big Friendly Giant, BFG"  
  
Willow smiled "Yeah that's exactly how I'd describe Riley too"  
  
Of course the letters spelt out Big Fucking Git too, but there was no need to tell Willow that.  
  
"So" Xander ventured "They're getting pretty serious, what with her meeting the olds and all"  
  
Willow failed to notice the slight tinge of jealously in Xander's voice and sighed dreamily "Yeah, she thinks he's the one"  
  
Xander closed his eyes "The one" he thought, when would he find "The one". For years he'd thought it was Buffy but it was never to be. Her taste in men just left him no-where in the picture, she liked the dangerous or preppy kind. Also anything with a real personality or mind of it's own was avoided like the plague. She didn't want a real man, she wanted a puppy.  
  
Willow's voice broke through his reverie "Anyway Xander I'm glad you're here."  
  
He smiled, he'd been stupid to think that they didn't want him around anymore.   
  
Willow continued "Because we've been told we can't keep Amy here anymore, dorm rules. It's a health violation or something. So I was wondering if you could keep her at you're place?."  
  
"My place?" he pondered aloud, then a thought struck him "But, what about changing her back?"  
  
"Well" Willow answered quietly her voice shaking "I've really tried, done all I can"  
  
Xander patted her shoulder "Don't worry about it Wills, I'm sure we can find someone who can help Amy"  
  
Willow sighed looking up at Xander with resignation "That's just it, I've researched and no-one on earth has the power to change her back. She invoked Hecate A goddess, there are only two way's to change her back, both impossible. One is for the original caster to do the spell and Amy's a rat!"  
  
"And the second?" prompted Xander  
  
"For goddess Hecate to take a personal interest in Amy. It'll never happen, god's just don't take that much interest in humanity."  
  
Xander nodded thoughtfully "There's not really any health violation is there" it wasn't a question  
  
Willow gave a short laugh "You've always been able to see through me" she took a deep breath "I just can't keep her around here as a reminder that I failed, that she'll never be human again. Take her. Please!"  
  
"Sure Wills" what else could he really say. He put a comforting hand on her shoulder "It's not your fault, you know that"  
  
He went over picked up Amy's cage before turning to leave, it was easy to see Willow was on the verge of tears and wanted to be alone "You gonna be okay?" she nodded so Xander left.  
  
  
  
Xander was sitting in his basement staring intently at Amy the rat through the bars of her cage, she was staring right back. Xander blinked, then sighed annoyed with himself "Dammit you win again"  
  
"You are really good you know that, cause I don't normally lose"  
  
Amy's eyes seemed to bore into him accusingly. "Okay, okay, I lied, I suck at this game, short attention span you know."  
  
For a rat Amy wasn't really that bad looking. When you think of a rat you think of a hoary great black thing living in sewers and feeding off refuse. But Amy was nothing like that. She was light brown in colour with fine little hairs all over her body. With a cute little nose and whiskers. She looked like a slightly larger pet mouse.   
  
He looked at Amy curiously "Hmmm, I wonder. If I let you out of there would you run away?"  
  
Amy licked her front paw  
  
Xander considered "I think I'll take that as a no"  
  
He reached in and took her out very carefully perching her on his shoulder.  
  
She moved around cautiously sniffing her new surroundings. Then settled on a stable perch on his shoulder facing forward in the same direction as him.   
  
Xander rolled his shoulders experimentally, she didn't fall off.  
  
He started walking around his basement swaying and bouncing a little, Amy stayed securely nestled on his shoulder but moved a little closer to his neck for more stability.   
  
"Cool" He looked at her craning his neck "Hey Amy?" he tapped her forehead a little with his index finger "You in there?" She shifted a little but apart from that did nothing   
  
"Okay Amy, want to go for a walk? lift you're right paw for yes, you're left paw for no"  
  
Her right paw raised a little  
  
Xander was excited "I knew it, you can understand me!"  
  
"Wonder why Willow didn't pick up on this?"  
  
"okay let's go"  
  
  
  
". . . . . . and so I said, if you're that eager to die why don't you just call Buffy a necrophlial slut. The stupid bastard actually did it." He shook his head at the guy's stupidity "Buffy really whaled on that vamp before she staked him. In fact in the end he was begging for death."  
  
Xander looked up at a old woman who was looking at him strangely. "What!" he patted Amy's head "Look lady there are a lot weirder things than a guy talking to a mouse in Sunnydale."  
  
She looked at him like he was crazy and hurried on her way  
  
"Old hag" Xander muttered under his breath   
  
It was amazing for Xander. He'd started to talk to Amy-rat as a kind of joke, and now he couldn't stop. It was pretty sad when you thought about it, but this was the best conversation he'd had for weeks. They'd been walking for the good part of two hours and now it was almost dusk, he was having a good time. Xander didn't want this night to end and if he went home now he'd only end up pigging out and watching late night television.   
  
Besides it was Sunday today and he had work tomorrow, better have fun while he could.  
  
"Amy" he said once again addressing the rat on his shoulder "Want to go see a movie?"  
  
Her right paw raised as a signal for yes.   
  
Well if she didn't have the mind of a human in there the rat sure was a fast learner.  
  
He smiled "Cool it's a date"  
  
Xander made his way to the Sunnydale Cineplex then stopped in front of the movie posters currently showing. He noticed that Amy's eyes seemed to be fixed on a certain poster and Xander gave a satisfied grin "Good choice, X-men it is"  
  
He made his way up to the ticket person a spotty teenager. His falsetto voice rang out "What can I do for you sir"  
  
"Give me one for X-men"  
  
The kid typed it in and then looked up "Ah sir you do realize that you have a, well you know" he asked pointing to Xanders shoulder  
  
"What" Xander asked sarcastically "Do you actually think I could miss the fact I've got a rat on my shoulder."   
  
The clerk looked nervous "Well I'm afraid I can't let you into the theatre with an animal"   
  
Xander smiled ferally "That animal has a name, Amy, and you are going to give me that ticket or I will come back after you've finished work and . . . . . " at this Xander leaned forward and whispered into his ear.  
  
The kid almost shit himself.  
  
  
  
Xander came out of the theatre chatting happily "That was great, the X-men got seriously fucked over in there. Pity they didn't have any of the really cool bad guys like Mr. Sinister or Apocalypse. Although that Toad fella looked great what with his jumping powers and weird eyes."  
  
It was nice. Amy was the perfect movie companion. She didn't giggle uncontrollably like Buffy or Willow, didn't criticize the actors clothes like Cordelia, She also didn't jump in his lap and attempt to screw his brains out in the theatre like Anya. Of course she couldn't do any of those thing's, she was after all a Rat, though possibly a rat with a human mind.   
  
She'd just perched on his shoulder watching the movie intently and every so often taking a nibble of the popcorn Xander had perched there for her.   
  
While in the theatre Xander had came to two realizations. One, that he wasn't going to ignore Amy like Willow had, it must be torture to be trapped in the body of a rat. He was going to, if possible treat Amy as much like a normal person as possible. Then there was his second realization, he really needed to get more male friends.  
  
Xander was so lost in his thoughts that he didn't see the guy waiting for him in the middle of the sidewalk until Amy squeaked to get his attention.   
  
Xander looked up at him absentmindedly "Hmmm, can I help you"  
  
The guy shifted to his game face and smiled evilly "Yes you can die"  
  
Xander pulled out his stake and held it up defensively. "Well that was unoriginal. I'm thinking about 2.5 on the scariness factor there, you're pretty pathetic. Now if you come any closer I'll be sticking this stake in one of two places, and believe me, you wouldn't like either one."  
  
The vampire charged him.  
  
Xander sidestepped and held the stake out causing the vampire to impale itself right through the heart. Before it dusted it heard Xander say "You're lucky, the other place would have hurt one hell of a lot more"  
  
Xander crouched down to retrieve the stake "What a putz"  
  
Amy was chittering excitedly.  
  
Then realization dawned. "Amy I bet that was you're first ever vampire attack. In fact I'd lay odds you don't even know that much about slaying. Sure you'd have picked up the odd bit here and there, but I doubt anyone's ever told you the whole story."  
  
Xander started walking home. "Okay, where to start?" he took a deep breath "Vampires, Demons and everything that goes bump in the night is real. And there is one girl in the world with the power to fight the darkness, she is the Slayer. . . . . ."  
  
  
  
Xander walked through his basement door chattering to Amy  
  
". . . and then Angel came into the scene. Buffy called him Cryptic Guy, I called him Deadboy, at least to his face. All he ever seemed to do was mope around and stalk Buffy. But every so often he'd appear, say "there's big danger coming", brood, and disappear leaving a trail of hair gel in his wake."  
  
Xander yawned. "Ah well Amy I'm getting a little tired here, I think I might go to sleep now." He lowered her into her cage "You and I will continue this talk in the morning"  
  
Xander started getting ready for bed when he was interrupted by a thump from upstairs then the sound of slow steady footstep's descending the basement steps.   
  
He turned around to find his father glaring at him. Mr. Harris was a big hulking man. Over six foot 300lb of muscle fat and hate. "C-mere boy"  
  
Xander approached slowly "Look Dad, I don't want any trouble"  
  
Mr. Harris smiled a sharks smile. "Don't want any trouble huh" he backhanded Xander across the face "Don't talk back to me!"  
  
Xander clutched his face, his father was over a meter away and he could smell the booze from here. "Dad, you're drunk, why don't you . . ."  
  
He was cut off by another blow to the face snapping his head sideways and making the room spin slowly.   
  
"Don't tell me what to do, you little bastard" he said slurring his words slightly "World would be better off without you, you useless little shit!"  
  
Xander looked up groggily. Thankful that his Fathers attention seemed to be elsewhere at the moment. But then Xander saw the direction of his gaze.   
  
In record time Xander was between his Mr. Harris and the cage with Amy the Rat in it. "No, not again"  
  
Mr. Harris grunted, "Move boy, right now!"  
  
Xander shook his head. For the first time in his life he was going to stand up to his father. "I won't let you do it dad, I'll stop you if I have to"  
  
Nevertheless Mr. Harris advanced. Xander didn't move.   
  
Mr. Harris pulled back his fist and threw a powerful punch at Xander's face. Xander dodged leaning slightly to the side. Then pivoted on his foot bringing his elbow across his fathers face. It met with a great impact and an audible cracking sound.  
  
Mr. Harris was bent over clutching his face as blood streamed out through his fingers. His almost unintelligible voice came through "You broke my fucking nose!"  
  
He retreated up the stairs leveling a death glare at Xander "If you're here when I come back from work tomorrow I'll call the cops"  
  
Xander settled back on his bed looking at Amy who was staring straight out of her cage at him. He shrugged "I was thinking of moving out anyway"  
  
"Let me tell you a story that might help keep this incident in perspective. Once upon a time there was a little boy, let's call him Xander. Xander was a carefree little boy despite the oppression of his abusive father. Then one day Xander found a stray kitten on his doorstep, he tried shooing it away because his father didn't like pet's but it always seemed to come back. Eventually he stopped trying to shoo it away, he came to love that kitty."  
  
"Then one day his father found out about it, despite his best efforts to keep it secret. His father came into the room "Well what have we here" he announced in his booming voice. Little Xander was scared, "Please Father" he stuttered "Can I keep her". His father gave a disturbing smile "But of course" he walked over and picked the cat up stroking it softly. Then in one swift move grabbed it in both hands and twisted, snapping it's backbone. "  
  
"Little Xander cried, but it got worse. His little kitten hadn't died instantly. He held it, stroking it and sobbing while it made pathetic mewling noises. It took over six hours until that cat finally, mercifully died. From that day on Xander did anything his Father said, he never tried to disobey him again. Until now."   
  
Xander leaned back a tear leaking out the corner of his eye. "I couldn't let it happen again"  
  
  
  
Three weeks had passed since the day Willow handed Amy's care over to Xander, and he got thrown out of home. He'd found himself a cheap flat. It was quite a nice place, the only thing keeping the price down was it bordered on Sunnydales largest cemetery. For Xander though this was no problem.  
  
Unfortunately these three weeks had done nothing to mend his friendship with Willow or Buffy. He'd tried but they just brushed him off or told him they were busy. The only time he ever saw them was when they needed his help researching something. Xander had been relegated from a close friend to a tool, to be used when needed.   
  
Work had been, well, very worky. Although Xander had been taking Amy with him, he figured he could use a little company and it's not as if he had a very exiting job anyway. At the moment it was just security for a local firm. He drove around the neighborhoods assigned to him and reported if he saw anything suspicious. Luckily Xander had the day shift. Almost a month and he'd only had to report one burglary.   
  
Speaking of Amy he'd been spending an awful lot of time with her lately. In fact it was almost scary, she was with him 24 hours a day, very rarely leaving his side, or shoulder as the case may be. He felt like he could tell her anything, and over the weeks he had.   
  
From his childhood trauma with his father, to his unrequited feelings for Buffy, to the slaying and what he'd done and thought. She knew everything about him, he'd divulged to her his innermost secrets.  
  
Buffy and Willow had been kind of creeped out when Xander started showing up for research sessions with Amy but had come to accept it. She had almost become a part of him.  
  
Tonight though all that could change. Buffy and Willow had asked Xander round to their place, no slaying, no nothing. He smiled they must have remembered his birthday tomorrow and be throwing him an early party.  
  
He picked up Amy and went out the door a big smile on his face.  
  
  
  
Xander was on his way to becoming extremely hammered. Half a bottle of tequila had already found it's way down his throat and he was now working on the rest of it. Their words echoed through his head again. "We don't need you're help anymore Xander, we've found someone else to help with the research." Buffy smiled at him encouragingly "Now you can get on with your real life"  
  
Xander looked straight ahead tears blurring his vision, he looked at Amy sipping her thimbleful of tequila and asked "What real life?"  
  
"I don't have a real life"  
  
"I don't want a real life"  
  
He reached out and stroked Amy's head with his finger. "It made me feel wanted you know." He waved his hands around drunkenly "I had a purpose in life, I was doing something useful"   
  
"Now I'm nothing again, maybe my Father's right. I'm a useless piece of shit, I'll never amount to anything. Not even good enough for . . . . . . . for my own friends" he broke down sobbing drunkenly into his hands before rising and putting back another shot.  
  
He held his hand up in front of his face seeing three of them. "God, I'm just like him, drowning my sorrows." He held the shot glass up preparing to chug down another before drawing his arm and letting it fly at the wall. It shattered breaking into thousands of tiny glass shards.   
  
He looked down at the mess "Shit . . . . . . . . I'm gonna have to clean that up."  
  
Then returning to his original train of thought "Anyway as I was saying . . . . . . . . I can't remember what I was saying"  
  
He laid back on the couch "My only two friends don't want anything to do with me." He looked at Amy tears running down his cheeks. "You're all I have left. You're my best friend"  
  
He leaned over giving Amy a kiss on the top of her head and said in a small childlike voice "I love you Amy, never leave me"  
  
Then his eyes rolled up into his head and he passed out.  
  
Xander had never been able to hold his liquor.  
  
So it was that Xander didn't see Amy the rat start to glow. He didn't see the luminous dusts of magic that started flying around the room in a miniature tornado before settling around Amy further enhancing her aura.   
  
He didn't see her begin to change limbs lengthening. Until a very naked and human Amy lay sprawled on floor right next to him.  
  
  
  
Amy sat up slowly clutching her pounding head. Then it hit her, she was CLUTCHING her pounding HEAD. She looked down at herself excitedly squealing "Arms!, legs!" She ran her hands up and down the length of her body and then burst out laughing. "I'm human!"  
  
Her shout caused Xander to stir slightly muttering in his drunken stupor "But the monkeys gone . . . ." before drifting out again. That was when Amy looked down at herself. She was human, but she was also naked!. She was up in a flash into Xander's bedroom looking through his draws for something to wear. Finally she settled on baggy tracksuit pants a plain shirt with the words JERKS ARE PEOPLE TOO emblazoned on the front.  
  
Amy went back into the room and immediately crossed to Xanders side attempting to shake him awake "Xander, I'm human!". It was hopeless he was totally out of it. He was snuggled up on the couch on his side, both arms pulled up to his chest, he looked like a big baby. Amy reached out one hand and brushed away a lock of hair that had fallen across his forehead. Her hand lingered on his cheek afterward tracing the outline of his lips.  
  
Xander was right. The whole time Amy had been a rat she had been totally aware. She had also fallen hopelessly in love with Xander. He'd been so sweet and open, Amy knew everything about him. She'd listened when he talked to her, taking in every detail to imprint on her memory. Some nights she'd just lay awake and watch him sleep, wanting nothing more than to be with him.  
  
She'd seen the hurt caused by Buffy and Willow's rejection of him and wanted to help so badly. She hated them both with a vengeance for treating him the way they have. They didn't deserve such a loyal, kind, sweet, guy. To Amy Xander was perfect. Plus she'd seen him naked and, WOW!  
  
He'd also treated her like a person. Before she was turned into a rat Amy hadn't had too many friends, people always used to see her as weird. But she could say as of this moment Xander was the best friend she'd ever had. He was also all she needed.  
  
It'd been torture being so near to him yet so far away. Able to touch him, but not in the way she wanted. But now! Now she had a chance, she wasn't sure how she was going to tell him yet but she had to confess her feelings. But what was the best way to go about this? She looked down at herself, she hated to do this but she needed help, and there were only two people she could go to. Buffy and Willow.  
  
Before she left though Amy leaned in and brushed her lips against Xander's in a feather light kiss. "I love you"  
  
After she'd left Xander stirred in his sleep, a smile on his face.  
  
And whispered "Amy"  
  
  
  
Amy hurried through the streets of Sunnydale, it was just after 12:30 at night so the streets were pretty much deserted. She kept an eye out for anything that goes bump in the night but made it to Willow and Buffy's dorm room without incident. She knew where it was because after all she had lived there for around a year, as a rat.  
  
Amy knocked. There was some grunting and crashing but eventually a bleary eyed Willow opened the door "What?" Amy couldn't help herself she pulled back her hand and slapped Willow across the face for all she was worth. Willow sagged against the doorframe stunned. Within moments Buffy had Amy pinned up against the wall arm to her throat.  
  
Then she recognized her, released her and took a step back. "Amy!?"  
  
Amy knew slapping Buffy would be no use so she resolved to later start a rumor about the amount of sexual diseases she had.  
  
Willow looked at her with large eyes "What, why, Amy?" she appeared utterly confused "What was that for?"  
  
Amy glared at both of them "for how you've treated Xander! You are both selfish bitches, you don't deserve someone like him"  
  
"Xander" Willow ventured "We're just protecting him"  
  
Amy looked at her like she was the stupidest person on earth. "Are you the stupidest person on earth? You've ignored, belittled, and made him feel like a useless piece of shit because you're protecting him? bullshit. You did it because he was in the way of your nice college life and you didn't want a townie" she almost spat the word "Hanging around you any more"  
  
Willow pouted "What would you know about it"  
  
"Well, I lived here for close to a year listening to every word you said, I think I might have some authority on the subject." That shut her up "Oh and Buffy" she turned to Buffy "A little under five inches is incredibly short. He's hung like a small child." She turned towards Willow and shuddered. "Ugh I just don't know what to say about you. You both seemed like such nice quiet girls, but that is sick! You could be expelled from the country for that, I think it's called sexual deviancy."  
  
Willow blushed beet red while Buffy decided to tactfully change the subject "You were aware while a rat?, and how did you turn back? I thought you were stuck a rat for life"  
  
"To answer you're first question yes, totally aware the whole time." Amy frowned, she hadn't even thought about how she'd turned back. "I actually don't know how I turned back" She shrugged "I just did"  
  
Willow jumped at the chance eagerly. "People don't just spontaneously turn from rat into a human. Something had to have triggered it. We don't even know if it's permanent yet. Let's go see Giles I'm sure he'd be able to find out"  
  
Amy shook her head "Not yet, I came here for a reason"   
  
"What, why?"  
  
"I need clothes, make-up, A shower" She looked down at herself "Some underwear"  
  
"Don't worry, we've got that stuff covered." Then something occurred to Buffy "Where is Xander? You two are like inseparable."  
  
"Well at the moment" Amy answered glaring at Buffy "He's passed out drunk on the floor of his flat. He downed nearly a whole bottle of tequila. Finding out your friends don't want you around, the day before your birthday has a tendency to do that to people."  
  
"Oh" Buffy looked at the floor guiltily "Let me get you those clothes"  
  
Willow pointed meekly "showers that way"  
  
  
  
Giles rubbed his eyes sleepily then pinched the bridge of his nose to keep down his rising headache. "So this is Amy, formerly the rat, and you want me to find out what it is that turned her back into a human?"  
  
All three nodded  
  
"Very well." He turned to Amy "I need you to tell me everything you remember before you became human leave out no detail."  
  
"Okay" Amy said thoughtfully "Me and Xander were sitting next to each other, him on the couch me on the table. I was drinking tequila out of a thimble Xander had put down and filled for me and was feeling a little lightheaded. Xander was talking to me like he always does, recounting what went on last night, he was pretty drunk."  
  
Giles nodded "Go on"  
  
"Well Xander was getting really emotional, he told me that I was all he had left, that I was his only friend. Then he bent down and kissed my head and said ah what was it now? Oh yeah I remember "I love you Amy, never leave me" then he passed out. That's the last thing I remember before waking up human."  
  
Amy was happy to note Buffy and Willow were looking properly guilty.  
  
Giles however lit up, he got up went over and started leafing through a book. "Yes I think I might have heard about something like this before."  
  
Finally he stopped and gave a small satisfied smile "Ahh here it is. He looked up at the three girls. It is Xander's birthday today is it not."  
  
Amy nodded while Buffy and Willow felt even more guilty, even Giles had remembered!  
  
"This is it then" he then frowned and looked over at Amy. "I'm going to ask you a question here Amy. It may seem a bit personal but it is important so answer this truthfully" he took a deep breath "How do you feel about Xander?"  
  
Amy was silent for a while before looking Giles straight in the eye. "I love him with all my heart. He's my angel, I'd die for him."  
  
Buffy and Willow gasped but Giles only nodded. "That's good. I believe what has happened is Xanders birthday wish has been granted. But I must warn you, this spell will only last for 24 hours then you will be back to being a rat, unless . . . . ." he trailed off  
  
"Unless what?"  
  
"Unless you consummate your relationship with Xander"  
  
Buffy's eyes widened "So all she has to do is have sex with Xander and she won't turn back into a rat, pretty sweet deal there" she looked around "Did I just say that out loud?"  
  
Giles looked at Buffy strangely "Yes, well I suggest we go around to Xanders and explain the situation to him I'm sure . . . ."  
  
Giles was cut off by Amy "We're not telling him"  
  
Giles blinked in surprise "What?"  
  
Amy smiled sadly "I love him. If I slept with him I'd want him to feel something in return. I wouldn't want him to sleep with me because he had to, to keep me human. So we're not going to tell him, promise me" she looked around the room.  
  
"But" broke in Buffy gently "what if he doesn't feel the same way for you"  
  
Amy closed her eyes "I'd rather be a rat than to be without Xander"  
  
  
  
Xander got up slowly head pounding. "God, I feel like someone broke open my head, scooped my brains out and replaced them with spaghetti, how bout you Amy?"  
  
He opened one eye "Amy?" she was no-where to be found he got up looking around the floor "Amy?" Xander walked into his room and checked the little bed he'd made up for her to sleep in, she wasn't there. Now Xander was getting scared.  
  
"Amy, where are you?"  
  
  
  
Xander knocked impatiently on the door to Giles place. As soon as the door opened he burst in brushing past Giles. Giles just stood there staring at the door "Why sure Xander why don't you come on in."  
  
Giles followed Xander to the living room where he was pacing up and down looking very distraught. Xander looked up as soon as Giles entered the room with pleading eyes. "G-man you've got to help me. I lost Amy!"  
  
"Yes, well . . . . . ."  
  
Xander carried on regardless of the interruption "I've looked everywhere she's nowhere to be found. I pulled my house apart, I doubt she's there. I was thinking since you're magic guy could you do a spell to find her I'm really desperate here."  
  
"As I was trying to say . . . . ."  
  
Xander was close to tears or a total breakdown "Please you've got to help me. It's my fault I was drunk and not watching her properly. If anything's happened to her I'll . . . . ."  
  
He was interrupted by a female voice behind him "Xander"  
  
Giles threw his hands up into the air and muttered "Thank god, maybe now I can get some sleep"  
  
Xander looked to his left to find a vision standing in the doorway. She was wearing jeans and a black cropped top hugging her tight figure. But the simple clothes seemed to accentuate her full figure. Long brown hair haloed around her face creating the look of angelic beauty. Then Xander took in her face and gasped. It was the same face he saw every night in his dreams. Her name escaped his lips in a whisper "Amy"  
  
She smiled at him.  
  
He wanted nothing more than to go over there and take her into his arms. But she wouldn't know, his best friend had gone. Left him like everyone else.   
  
Blinking back tears he turned and fled.  
  
  
  
Xander sat hunched over looking out across the city. The sun was streaming down on a small clearing, it was Xanders special spot. For as long as he could remember he'd come here when things got rough for him or he needed some time alone. He hadn't been a lot in the last four years because he now knew it wasn't safe here at night. As a small child he used to sleep out here sometimes to get away from his father when he started drinking. It was actually amazing he hadn't been killed long ago now that he thought back on it.  
  
But right now he was here to think.  
  
He was alone.  
  
Perhaps it was time to leave town.  
  
A shadow fell across him and Xander looked up. It was her.  
  
She reached her hand down to Xander. A tingle ran through his hand as he accepted, helping him to his feet. Xander looked at her in wonder. "How did you find me?"  
  
She smiled unconsciously stroking the back of his hand which was clasped tightly in her own. "This is where you come to think, I thought I'd find you here"  
  
"But I've never told anyone about this spot apart from . . . . . ."  
  
"Apart from Amy, and guess what" She pointed to herself "I am Amy"  
  
Xander whispered "You remember?"  
  
She moved closer until she was facing him only inches apart. She nodded slowly her eyes never leaving his. "Everything"   
  
Xander couldn't believe this she remembered everything from while she was a rat. She knew everything about him. He hadn't kept any secrets from Amy, he'd bared his heart and soul. And here she was looking into his eyes with such an odd look.  
  
"I'm sorry I ran out back there but I was scared," Xander looked at her sadly "I thought now you were human you were going to leave me. Just like them and I don't think I'd be able to handle that"   
  
Amy gave a blinding smile "Don't worry, I'm not going to leave anytime soon."  
  
Xander was captivated by her smile. Unconscously his hand reached out to cup the side of her face gently. "I dream of you, you know"  
  
"Every night in my dreams you'd appear as you are now, beautiful, enchanting." He paused "Of course seeing as these were my dreams you were usually naked"  
  
She leaned in closer and brushed her lips to his tenderly lingering slightly before pulling back with a smile.   
  
"You don't know how long I've waited to do that. Unlike you I didn't have to see you in my dreams, you were right there in front of me." She then gave him a mischievous grin running a finger down his chest "Sometimes you were naked as well"  
  
Xander blushed, he'd never been shy around Amy because well, she was a rat. Xander if possible got even redder when he remembered the other things he'd done while she was in the room.  
  
Amy's smile grew even wider as Xander turned an interesting shade of magenta. She correctly guessed what he was thinking about "Don't worry, it's perfectly natural. If it makes you feel any better Buffy and Willow do it too."  
  
Xanders eyes widened and grew over in a glazed look as he pictured the imagery. Amy decided to snap him out of it by leaning in and capturing his mouth. He leaned into her wrapping his arms around her and pulling her as close as possible crushing her against him. Their mouths opened tongues battling for supremacy. Trying to taste as much of each other as possible.  
  
Xander gently lowered Amy to the ground, keeping his arms cradled around her as they frenched for all they were worth. Amy broke the kiss and quickly lifted her top over her head. Xander was entranced by her large breasts held fettered by only the smallest slip of material which was way too tight for her. She followed his gaze "Borrowed it from Buffy"   
  
Amy leant up to resume their impassioned embrace of moments before but Xander pulled back slightly. He looked at her with concern "Are you sure?"  
  
Amy nodded "I love you Alexander Harris and if you don't make love to me right now" she grinned and flipped it over so she was on top and Xander was pinned beneath her. "I'll rape you"  
  
Xanders eyes gleamed "Well how could a guy say no to that"  
  
He kissed his way in a burning trail up her neck until he got right next to her ear. "By the way Amy whose last name I don't even know . . . . . . . . . I love you too."  
  
Anyone walking by that hill around twenty minutes later might have heard an impassioned scream of "OOOHH GOD XXAANNDDEEEERRR!!"  
  
  
  
Buffy and Willow were casually hanging around Giles apartment studying for tomorrows exam. In theory. In reality both wanted to know what had happened with Amy and Xander the suspense was killing them.   
  
They'd made Amy promise to tell them everything. After expressing continuous apologies for treating Xander the way they had, and promising to make it up to him as soon as possible.   
  
They heard Xanders voice drifting through the door as he approached " . . . . . . . . want to know everything about you. You know everything about me so I think it's only fair if you and me sit down soon and have a discussion little lady"  
  
Then both appeared through the doorway. Xander had his arm draped casually around Amy's shoulder, both appeared to be glowing with happiness. As Amy walked past she saw the questioning looks in both Buffy and Willows eyes. Then while Xanders attention was elsewhere she looked over at them held up five fingers and mouthed "Five times".  
  
Both their eyes widened and Willow remarked to Buffy "I don't think Amy will be turning back into a rat anytime soon"  
  
THE END   



End file.
